Biblical Math

Gryphen had an interesting post over on The Immoral Minority Blog : "Flood of "biblical proportions" destroys home of president of anti-gay Christian group. Really the jokes just write themselves."  While it would be tempting to turn this post into some sort of swipe at this particular religious nut, after all saying for years that disasters occur to gay people as God's retribution for being gay, you just have to see some level of humor in this.  However, having your home destroyed is a devastating event, but what I find most interesting is the Christian Hate-Monger calling it a flood of 'biblical proportions'.

Maybe what we have here is an excellent example of 'Biblical Math'.  I have to wonder if Liberty University or kennie ham teach classes in it.  Let's break down this example,  Tony Perkins is caught in a flood and loses his home, he and his family make their escape in a canoe.  So, let's break this down:

• Flood
• Canoe

Now the Noah story is something more like this:

• World-wide catastrophic flood
• Ark

What makes this interesting is that Tony describes the flood of being 'biblical proportions'.  Now I am in Ohio, only about 900 miles from Louisiana and we haven't been impacted by any flooding from this storm.  So obviously 'biblical proportions' either no longer means what it did back in Noah's day, or maybe the flood kennie and Tony like to talk about was one of less than 'biblical' proportions.  

Since I cannot imagine Tony or kennie admitting to any error, the current flood must be of 'biblical proportions', which means that if the proportion of the world flooded currently is the same as the proportion of the world that flooded back then . . . something must have happened to expand the flood from a localized event to a world-wide catastrophe!  That's where Bible Math comes in.

You use this type of extrapolation in Junior High Math classes for determining percentage:  

Solving for 'x' lets you determine what percentage 4 is of 12.  Since it holds true for numeric percentages, why not use it to prove whole Noah story?

So that being said, if the local flooding is of biblical proportions, then the canoe also needs to be of biblical proportions, right?  Yeas, that's the ticket.  We now have proof of the validity of the Bible, all we needed was a judicious application of 'Bible Math'!

And there you have it!  Solve for 'X' and you have determined that an Ark is the only possible answer.  Biblical Math in action, Noah's Flood has 'mathematical' proof!  I'm just not sure if little kennie will see the humor, or simply become even more apoplectic than he typically is.